No need for nerves of steel. You can handle these assassins of the soul!
Some recommendations from our Most Dreadful experiences
First, a Caution
One of the first questions that should pop into your mind when you encounter a difficult person is; “Is it them or is it me?” Given the context of any particular situation it may be that you are triggering a strong reactionary behavior in another person. Because our behavior is the result of values, principles and rules that are transparent to us, we often do not see the impact of our own behavior on others. Even the most difficult kinds of people operate according to a logic which makes sense to them despite the misery the logic may create for others. In fact if you find yourself surrounded by many difficult people, you may want solicit some feedback about your own behavior.
Four Effective Strategies for Managing Difficult People:
Strategy 1: Reframe
- Change how you view the situation. Stop being the victim. Do not take the blame.
- Set your expectations low on their behavior.
- Fortify your belief that you can handle this situation.
- Practice emotional detachment. De-link your sense of self worth from their judgment.
- The reptilian reactions of anger, fear or anxiety are not helpful when dealing with difficult people.
- Try not to react to the problem behavior in the same way it was expressed. This tends to heighten the problem behavior rather than diminish it. “More of the same” rarely works.
- If they are aggressive, angry or emotional, give them time to let off steam then professionally deal with each issue – de-escalate the situation when you can..
Strategy 2: Go for the “small wins”
- Gain control over whatever small things you can, particularly your response to bad behavior
- Small wins are more attainable than big ones. being in control of something builds hope and confidence
- Limit your exposure by meeting them as little as possible, control time spent with these assassins of the souls
- Use technology to avoid the face to face meetings
- Pick your battles: when the door is even slightly open find ways to educate your nemesis.
- Pick your battles 2: More risky, but confronting can work at the right place and time.
- Find a coach and practice your responses.
Strategy 3: Find islands of “safety, support and sanity”
- Set up a “safe” place where you can literally hide out from your tormentor
- Find good people who you an trust and talk with, who may serve as sounding boards and coaches
- Find a space to be quiet and centre yourself
Strategy 4: Eject
- Consistently do a cost/benefit analysis on the cost of staying in place to you, your family and your career.
- Seek alternatives to the situation you are in, within the organization or outside.
- Walk away from the situation when the pain outweighs the benefits.
From your experiences with horrific homonids, we invite you to reply below to share your stories and practical advice on how to handle difficult people successfully.
Do not forget to join us in conversation during our webinar on Managing Difficult People scheduled for September 2nd and 15th at 9:00 am
Remember- Your first webinar with PULSE is Free!
To register for this hugely engaging event register with PULSE at:
